15/08/10 at 6am: Unable to sleep I have been pondering the stress I am now feeling as I realise that time has marched on and I am yet to follow or comment on my peer’s blogs. I have been lurking in the background, observing and wondering – but not doing. This digital world seems to foster a need of urgency, of speed, of ‘MUST do it now or else’ fervour. This is not who I am. I am a thinker, a quiet achiever, an observer.
One thing that keeps coming to me is ‘learning in a classroom should relate to real-life.’ At the moment I am struggling to see how the learning I have achieved in the past four or five weeks has been real-life for me. I can see how to use ITC in a classroom and will most definitely use ITC in a classroom – but the pressure of doing it all in such a short space of time is unreal. Don’t get me wrong – I do like ITC – I like the connection with knowledge and information, I marvel at the programs that allow me to create movies and presentations and I enjoy the convenience of being in touch with my family and friends whenever I or they choose, either in real time by Skype or via email. I guess I am just finding it difficult to keep up with the urgency of it all.
A further thought is that as a person who values private thoughts the very public domain of the internet has challenged me to step out of my comfort zone and enter unfamiliar territory. Fear of ridicule and being judged is hard to conquer although I am slowly realising that it is not judgement that is offered – it is support. This goes back to my intrapersonal learning style and hesitation at ‘quipping a comment’ in writing that can be read differently by people (an early email experience in business made me aware of the need to carefully consider what and how things are said (written) – but that’s another story. A friend who is visiting at the moment and whose business is IT discussed with me his similar feelings of exposing your knowledge and your innermost thoughts to the world as somewhat confronting initially. Then he realised that when he was blogging he was writing for himself – not anybody else – so it didn’t matter what other people thought – it was for him and he just needed to record his knowledge and information somewhere – a timeline of thoughts.
I have also thought about how connection to the internet and in particular the download speed affect and shape your relationship with the wired world. Living remotely and relying on a satellite connection that is sometimes not reliable has proved taxing at times. Staring at a screen waiting for information to appear has cost me valuable time in this subject. As I write I am planning to spend a day at Noosa in the computer lab this week to alleviate some of my frustrations and I trust that it will not be too late to follow and comment on others blogs…?
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